Monday, April 2, 2012

Learning from the Best

Unfortunately my Tony Robbins experience ended before it really began. Two days before leaving I learned my Father had cancer. It was advanced and without treatment he wouldn't last long. A huge blow, considering my Dad was a healthy guy.

They had some tests to do, and he was in good spirits and really wanted me to go to NY.  It was hard to leave, but I did with the understanding that if something should happen they would call me and I would come home right away.

The morning of the first day, we had received some good news that things may not be as bad as expected. I headed off to begin the conference with the expectation to embrace fears and conquer my limitations and feeling good about being at the event.

A few hours into what was looking like a life changing weekend, a message was posted on the screen behind Tony as he spoke "Gina Faubert, please come to Customer Service immediately!"

You can imagine panic, dispair and regret set in instantly. I stopped breathing and fumbled my way out of the conference center in a haze. A lady standing at the door looking deeply concerned held out a cell phone.  I couldn't take it.  Fear that I had lost my father set in. I was to afraid to hear it. I backed away from the phone, leaning on a wall and broke down. After a few moments one of Tony's first lesson kicked in. Leaders get the facts and don't make more of a situation then it really was. I composed myself with a few deep breathes and toke the phone. It was my husband Jay. He said "things aren't good. You need to get on a plane and get home right away."

I've never been in a state of total panic before. I could recognize my emotional brain had totally taken over, and logic was almost impossible. I began to ask for help and somehow found my way on a plane headed in the right direction.  Once the plane took off, I began to breathe again. I sat quietly reflecting. Another lesson came to mind. Every problem is an opportunity for growth.

The flight went quickly and soon I was home, still shaky from the news and worried for what was about to come. Jay picked me up and we went straight to the hospital. My dad was barely alive. He was saying his goodbyes and apologizing for not being strong enough. He needed his rest so after a lot of tears and hugs we headed home.

As we drove home Jay and I began talking about life and what is really important. How we forget to say thank you and I love you and share our time as much as we would like. Somehow all the little things that where so important last week meant almost nothing today. The next lesson: To live life as if today was your last. I never understood this before. I thought that was a cop out for those who didn't believe in hard work. I thought it meant spend all your money and skip out on work, indulge and relax. But in fact, if this was your last you'd be saying what was important and wanting to be with the ones you love. Money, food, travel those don't even make the list of things that where important to me right now. 

I came home and went straight to bed and cried myself to sleep. I slept well until about 4:00 am when suddenly I woke up and sat straight up. Tony's lesson 3. See things as better than they are. The truth was, he had lost faith. He was focused on the present moment and didn't have an empowering vision. People survive cancer every day. He was in the best hospital in the province for his type of cancer and had many doctors overseeing his case. He was strong and healthy and young. He had droves of visitors, calling and visiting, too many to rest. He needed a reason bigger than himself to fight to stay alive. Something important, but not too overwhelming and out of reach. He needed a goal to reach for. To live for tomorrow. I went to work devising a list of all the reasons he needed to live. All the things he was yet to experience. But somehow it didn't seem like enough. I poured over conversations I had had with him over the past year. Many about retiring, feeling as if he had reached his potential and wondering if there was anything else he could have accomplished. That was it! Hundreds of people admire my father. (no exaggeration), and almost all feel that he has taught them or supported them in some way. After retiring he had given away the role of mentor and felt like he may not anything else to offer. 

This was his moment. If my dad didn't give up, even with being given the worst case scenario he would teach us all a very important life lesson. Never, never, never give up!
In a quiet moment in the hospital I pitched him my vision. He still is a mentor, but this time with a bigger more meaningful lesson. Who needs Tony Robbins (with all due respect) when you have a man like my dad promise me he won't give up, he won't let me down, he'll do his best, he will never give up! He is my new inspiration.

My goals:  Try my best to keep him optimistic.  Focus on the facts.  Encourage him to see what's working, and if needed, try something new.  Remind him to focus on the improvements.  Remind him of how much he is loved, and by how many.  Continue to hold a vision of him recovering.

We all need goals to keep us going, but they need to be personal and relevant and constantly improving. The first night his goal was to get through the night, the next day to relax and sleep, the following was to continue to be hopeful for the day ahead, now his goal is to get strong enough to get home. These goals are small, but perfect examples of how small steps in the right direction with perseverance can move mountains.

Tony Robbins laid out the information for me, my dad is teaching me the real value and truth of these lessons.  I never would have imagined I would be watching my father Unleash the Power Within!

The best part of all of this is that (in a vulnerable, drug induced state), my dad said that he would do the Fire Walk with me when he recovers!!  What an amazing experience that will be! 

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